welcome home, my little princess

Gary and I headed out sometime not too long after 10am this morning, back to L.A. - to get our little princess!!! We went to the hotel and checked out and paid our bill - YIKES! Then we headed to the hospital, I was itching to see Zoey and it was wonderful to see her and hold her again. We arrived a bit past 2pm (at the hospital) and she was working on eating ... we ended up at the hospital for more than three hours between catching her up on eating, going through paperwork, us grabbing a bite to eat, signing papers, and collecting all her "stuff" to bring home (including our cooler full, ok - only half full this time - of frozen breastmilk!) ... but, we finally did leave and we were on our way home! Zoey did fabulous, she slept the entire way home (ok, she did do her little coughy/gaggy thing a couple times - but only mildly and she still didn't wake up) and did great in her carseat! We got home and it was time for diaper change and eat and - OH MY GOODNESS - pump!!! She's doing great, and in fact, I have to go as it's time for me to change her and see if she'll eat again! God bless all - and keep praying!

how sweet is that, holding daddy's finger

a little peek at the g-tube ... which I'm now realizing how much of a
pain that darn thing is - not just to dress her, but man we had a time
getting her buckled into her carseat!

all ready to go, she's still so tiny

almost home now!

sound asleep in her little "bed" we bought for her!

my heart is aching (but I've got great news) ...

my heart is aching this morning - to see my little princess! I didn't see her at all yesterday (which is the first day since she was born that I didn't see her) ... it was for good reason though, I packed up all my stuff and headed home to see my other princess and princes! I was aching for them and we had heard rumors of Zoey coming home, so I decided to get a quick bit of time with them before I was ultra busy with baby care! They were excited to see me and I was overjoyed to see them - they seem more grown up, even two and a half weeks later! So, I've been calling to check on Zoey ... and this morning I finally got the official word that, yes, she can go home today!!! I've called Gary, installed the carseat, packed her some clothes, gotten myself dressed, washed bottles/pump stuff and I'm ready to go (last night I got my room all ready for her) ... now if daddy would just get home! So, onto our next adventure ... we've now experience life in the NICU - but the real challenge begins when she's home and I have four children to care for!!!! I'm so excited, praise God for this happy day!

today's update

as many of you know, yesterday our precious little Zoey had her first surgical procedure (it just amazes me what these little babies have to endure) ... she had a "G-tube" put in! For those that don't know what that is or why - here's a brief explanation: it's a feeding tube inserted through her skin (on her tummy) directly into her stomach, she needed one as a more reliable way to finish her feedings when she doesn't take the full amount from the bottle!

we cuddled, kissed, and cooed as much as we could, until
the nurse got the phone call that they'd be up in 20 minutes to
get her (of course, it was actually more like 45 minutes!)

she was all ready and sound asleep by the time they came up,
thanks to a loud something going off, though, she woke up for her
ride downstairs to the operating room

Gary snapped this right before we said our goodbyes, and
yes - I cried! none of my children have ever had any sort of
surgery and it was hard, even though it was a "simple" procedure

it didn't take near the three hours I was told the day before for her to be all
done and back to her room ... the procedure itself was done a little over an hour
after we left her, but it didn't take that long to do (there was a birthdate
discrepancy - I was in the NICU pumping when the nurse got the call - about
35 minutes after we left her - and it had to be confirmed) We were at lunch
when our pager buzzed, Gary had gone the first time (the birthdate thing) so I went
this time ... the doc said all went well and they were able to do it via just the
small incision! The doc estimated she'd be back to her room in 15 to 20 minutes,
so - we ate our lunch and headed up there - and there was our sweet little
princess:

she was on pain meds and very sleepy! we went back later last night to see her again
and we brought the picture sent from Annicka - isn't it sweet (I especially love
the poem: roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you ... what a great
big sissy) She was still very sleepy, but it's always good just to see her!

she was a bit red too, from the heated bed! ... and why they left that nose
tube in - we have no clue?!

and this was our princess this morning, they even had her dressed - which
really surprised me! she was still fairly sleepy but did wake up and I got
to hold her and we had quite a nice little visit! she also had a new blanket!!!

so, thank you to all who were in prayer for our Zoey - God kept her safe and guided the surgeon, doctors, etc. and everything went smoothly! We visited her again this afternoon and found out she had eaten! They're starting with 30ml and back on her three hour schedule, then every six hours they up it by 10ml until she's back to the full amount! We were relieved she had eaten, as this morning she was acting quite hungry (oh yes, and yesterday before the surgery she was too -as she hadn't been able to eat since her 5am feed - poor baby) ... maybe now she'll realize how much she wants to eat?! Praise God she's doing great and hopefully will come home within the week!

my life (right now) ...

I don't have much to say right now, I'm in a quiet mood ... but I thought I'd take this opportunity to share some photos of what my world looks like now (minus the sweet baby, which you've seen many a photo).

First up, my hotel ...

this is the church next door

the courtyard at the hotel

out walking ...

the hospital is up that street ...

this is what I call a "real" crosswalk!

more walking around ...

the hospital ...

that's about it! Surgery is set for tomorrow. Please be praying about that! They told me today that Zoey's G.I. study revealed no reflux and everything seemed good, she was "borderline" for how her food goes out of her stomach, so if they notice the muscle being especially big - they'll "cut" it to relax it while they're in there! Please pray that they'll be able to accomplish the surgery laproscopically (like I know how to spell THAT!). God bless you all

bye-bye daddy

well, that weekend went fast ... Gary left this afternoon, after giving blood for Zoey for thursday (just in case, but it's not a procedure where there's usually blood loss)! I miss him already, it was kind of nice to not be alone for a few days ... I think I'm officially getting tired of being away from home! I'm really missing my other kiddos and feeling very guilty that I'm not there for them. I managed to get a hotel room (here) for friday through monday, but thursday still hasn't opened up - so please be praying that it will! Also, they're full the 2nd and the 4th ... so, if Zoey doesn't come home next weekend I may need those days to open up as well! Today Zoey had her upper g.i. study done, when we were there this morning "so far" nothing looked unusual ... but they were going to be x-raying her a few more times (I believe) to see that her digestion is all normal, and they are also checking for reflux. The nurse also mentioned that Zoey's little tummy is, well - little! She said she had eaten 20ml before going for the test and her stomach was FULL! So, I'm trying to imagine how it would look with the full feeding of 65ml??? Anyway, that's really the only news at this point! here's a couple pics I snapped while daddy was here, enjoy ...

two steps forward???

well, that didn't last long! you'll see below what I discovered at my late afternoon visit today, that darn ng tube is back! Apparently there WAS a minimum Zoey needed to eat each day (even though the "first" nurse said there wasn't) and last night's nurse mentioned she was three ounces behind. She still gained, but only 10 grams (about 1/3oz) - which is "ok". When I left this morning they mentioned maybe having to use the tube again, but it was so weird cause at the same time they've been really "encouraging" me to nurse (and I did this morning, she did ok - but I'm not sure how long it kept her satisfied). Last night's nurse also changed to regular formula to fortify (she said the polycose can cause diarrhea and Zoey had pooped three times since she had been on shift, which was less than an hour), but today they were back to polycose. I gotta tell ya, it's so annoying dealing with all the inconsistencies of different nurses - sometimes it seems each nurse just does what they want to do! Since Zoey got to UCLA they eliminated the haberman bottle right away (by the time Gary and I got here that night) and were using a standard nipple - I think slow flow. Then they were using a standard regular flow. Then it switched between the slow and regular. Then the occupational therapist said she really did better with the NUK and that she should use that - that only lasted a day and this morning they were back to the standard regular. Then tonight it was a standard slow flow - UGH!!! That's the main issue at this point for Zoey, the eating/gaining weight! It seems to be the thing that she takes two steps forward then a step (or two) back - it's like a see-saw! In other news, I completely forgot to mention the surprise I found in her diaper on monday ... her belly button stump - lol! Yes, it finally fell off and she has a cute little belly button! She's still just as precious as can be ... there was word of her maybe coming home this weekend, but now with the feeding I just don't know - I'm certainly not counting on it! Keep up the prayers all!

also: just fyi - Zoey is 8lbs 7oz and I did hear that the thyroid came back fine!

my cousins made this - isn't it awesome!
My aunt and cousin (technically it's my cousin's daughter, that's a cousin
right?) came and visited and got to see Zoey - but we didn't get any pics :c

sleeping beauty - yesterday

this morning - sporting the ducky gown from Nana

and this afternoon

today's update

not a whole lot new today, BUT ... Zoey is now "ad lib" for feeding! Which means, instead of her having to take in 65 ml every three hours - she now takes what she wants, when she wants ... and they'll see how she does! When I was in there today, they hadn't heard the thyroid results. She still has that darn hyper gag reflex too ... I really hate that! I don't know why, but gagging is just not my thing and even when I'm able to remain calm - deep down it bothers me to see her do that (at least she never actually vomits though, cause that would affect her weight!). So, that's about it for today - I had a good little visit this morning. When I got there the occupational therapist was feeding Zoey (and she'll continue this, to evaluate her - at least on occasion) and she gave me a helpful tip to try to desensitize that hyper gag reflex! We also talked about nursing, but in all honesty - I have no desire to even try at this point. I feel like I should want to or I should feel guilty that I don't want to, but for me right now I like to look at the bottle and know how much she has eaten (and she's still getting the breastmilk, that's what's really important - right?)! After that, I held my little princess - for over an hour! It was quite wonderful, I must say ... and I would have held her longer, but I was getting super hungry! She's so beautiful and so precious and I just know she's perfection!

today's update

just wanted to put a little update! First off, I believe it was Saturday that I noticed a little "bump" (for lack of a better word) on Zoey's head. Many nurses/doctors have felt it and think it's a certain sort of benign tumor (it's common) that sometimes goes away on it's own ... but they've said it's something to keep an eye on and if it grows it will be in the way and then it would need to be removed! I'm praying that it will just go away on it's own!

Zoey is now on vitamins: a multi vitamin, iron, and vitamin D. They're now using polycose to fortify the breastmilk, and have increased the volume but reduced the calories to 22 (and the volume is 65, instead of 60 - which is 2 ounces). Her rash has greatly improved, so they believe that may have been part of the problem (the milk based neosure, though polycose has whey in it). She's still on the lasix, I believe three times a day; as well as the blood pressure medication, also three times I think (and as of the other day her dose had increased again - initially it was .1, then .3 then 1!!!) ... and she's still getting the sodium chloride as well. Due to her still being on the cold side, they're testing her thyroid to see if it's functioning properly - I believe we'll have those results tomorrow?

She's still a bit up and down with her feedings and therefore still has that darn tube in her nose, right now they're main focus is getting her to realize that she wants to eat - lol! I was told today that it's likely she'll go home at that two week point (two weeks of being here) and then come back at two months (age) for an appointment (or appointments) to access her readiness for surgery ... and likely have the surgery right around the two months of age point!

She is so beautiful and it amazes me every time I see her. It's sort of weird though, as I don't feel a huge need to be at the hospital constantly - I guess there's just only so much of doting on a sleeping baby that can be done? Also weird, as much as I miss my other kids - this feels a bit like a much needed get away! Hey, don't judge me - life has been busy and crazy - what can I say?!

blessings to all and keep up the prayers!

Happy Valentine's Day ...

from little miss Zoey!